Ideations

ASSESSMENT/MSE/SUICIDAL OR HOMICIDAL IDEATION: Veteran denied any current Suicidal  ideations,  plans, or intentions. Veteran was casually dressed with appropriate grooming. His affect was congruent to the topic discussed. His mood was somewhat depressed.  His thought process was linear and goal directed. His speech was unremarkable.

Knock Knock Knock  

Anyone out there

You stumbling Buffoons 

Of course I denied the Ideations while in your Psychobabble rooms

My thoughts are tied up nice and tight and buried in their tombs

If I told you what was really here your heart would skip a beat

You'd lock the cuffs around my wrists while shackling my feet

So I keep my cogitations hidden deep within my mind

all the lights are off as I peek through broken blinds

The branches that I search for will never be in sight

The potions that I swallow will be conjured late at night

The angle of my forty five I'll check with great resolve

For the loss of other lives I need not be involved

I'll roll up all the carpets so as not to leave a stain

I'll wrap a belt around my arm to help me find the vein 

The pills they start to multiply outside the children's reach

The safety lids are tightened to prevent a careless breach

Ideations are just thoughts that keep us entertained

If you really wanted in you would meet them unrestrained

So put away the pens of fear

And listen through the tears

I did not come here ever to fabricate a lie

But if threatened I will curl up tight

and

Deny Deny Deny 

-Cowboy Beach Bum

As a child I liked the silly ones with many loops and swirls

I learned to aim the straight ones shooting papers at the girls

In my teens I tried to speed life up when I slipped them in her beer

I recall some times I've chewed them to distract me from my fear

I've used a Franklin in its place from her curves I killed my smells

We used two to share a bucket full of rum and donned in shells

I used them when the dawn crept in to finish liquor in my cup

The slurping sound relieved my pain with each cold and shaky sup 

I've held my hands beneath my thighs the tremble made me sick

The bar keep laid one by my cure It quickly did the trick

I've tried to live without them Its not as easy as it seems

The sober drink escaped my lips and landed on my jeans

I've used them in the ICU when my limbs no longer worked

I've used them in between my wells as my cravings made me jerk

These days I use them differently living mostly in the law

I use them for my sodas and for ice cream when it thaws

I'm sure I'll want one up above when I'm judged for all my flaws

So when you close up my last box...………

Please don't forget my Straw

                       -Cowboy Beach Bum

Where have all the smiles gone

We rub the lamp of wishes

 and receive our bounty bursting

Work from home in pajamas

 wine glass filled

 and never thirsting

More time with children books and pets

In underwear and socks 

perfecting pirouettes

Our minds distracted from the things that we try hard to forget

The families living on the streets 

And the food they will not get

We count the deaths and we're so troubled

We think nothing of the suicides

 that are more than double

We gasp at empty aisles

 of simple objects made of tissue

In disgust we storm out

 almost stepping on the man with no shoes

We are so damn caught up in self

We forget the true meaning of wealth

We are blessed with all the riches we possess 

We should take the time to center and move forward not regress

Our pandemic is not a disease that infects us

Its the way we treat each other with disgust

So while we  binge on a couch with roof above

surfing Amazon for mask and glove

Lets try hard to not forget 

The other humans we effect

 Bring them hope and spare a dime

Listen to their needs 

and give them time

You might find yourself surprised

As you learn to smile with just your eyes

-Cowboy Beach Bum